|
| |
Now Eli was very
old; and he heard all that his sons were doing to all
Israel, and how they lay with the women who served at
the doorway of the tent of meeting. . . 1 Sam. 2:22 |
If it were to reason from practice to policy, the world might
be forced to conclude that one of the standard perks of pastoral
office-duly noted in the contract-is sexual favors from the
communion-lady. Sexual indiscretion by spiritual leaders has
reached such a height that the church has become a byword
and an object of hissing among the nations. One survey of
almost three hundred pastors reveals that 23 percent of them
admitted to sexually inappropriate behavior, and 12 percent
to sexual intercourse with someone other than their wife.
Almost forty percent of this porneia occurred with ladies
from church. The statistics are depressing, and one surmises
that the reality is far worse. There is a glut of the sons
of Eli in the church, and seeing it the world chortles, blasphemes,
and tells itself “there is no God” (Ps. 14:1).
“The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; He who is
cursed of the Lord will fall into it” (Pro. 22:14). Sex
is an alluring and deadly trap for men, and particularly for
pastors. Proverbs tells us that the house of the adulteress
is really a morgue stacked with “many” and “numerous”
corpses (Prov. 7:26-27). If one were to read some of the tags
dangling from their cold, rigid toes, he would be shocked
by names like David (the man after God’s own heart),
and Solomon (unsurpassed in wisdom). And many of our contemporaries
lie there. Of course there are the likes of Bakker, Swaggert,
and Jesse Jackson, but there are also men like MacDonald,
Cocoris, and Hocking. You may not like their theology-certainly
it may not be as staunch as yours-but David’s theology
was pretty fair, and yet he is among their number. And in
any case, a sense of swaggering invulnerability is a sure
sign that your toast is about to get burned: “Let him
who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Cor.
10:12). Adultery begins with spiritual starvation. And though
it may surprise the reader, pastors can be some of the most
spiritually emaciated folks out there. Some pastors weekly
lay out a feast from which they refuse to partake. When, in
well-meaning rebellion, they neglect their own souls to care
for the flock, they grow weak, drop their guard, and become
a target. Defection from the honors of the marriage bed begins
with a defection-slow and imperceptible-from God. And this
defection occurs in the most innocuous of ways: neglect of
the means of grace. Prayer slackens, and then abates entirely.
Personal application of the Word gives way to the chug and
clank of the machinery of sermon prep. And before long, the
anorexic pastor gives up the charade entirely, and begins
preaching exclusively out of his file cabinet. It is in this
enfeebled state that he encounters the allure of the “foreign
woman.” Given her substantial arsenal-oily speech, brazen
eyes, flaunted beauty and a cunning heart-there is little
doubt of the outcome. The shepherd has himself become a prey
(Pro. 6:25).
Neglect of the means of grace is what begins marital defection.
But there are other factors, and one of them is not pursuing
your wife and being exhilarated with her love (Prov. 5:15-20).
It is impossible to run in two directions at the same time.
A man cannot pursue his wife and that of another man simultaneously.
If one is tending one’s garden, and its beauty is conspicuous,
why would he be tempted to dwell amongst the bramble across
the way?
Another factor is that some men are simply naïve about
the avenues down which some temptations travel. Pastoral counseling
is one area. A “weak woman weighed down with sins and
led on by various impulses” meets with caring, naïve,
and touchy-feely pastor. They speak-necessarily-of her problems,
sometimes probing deeply. He listens encouragingly. She senses
his concern and reciprocates with effusive thanks and praise.
Naïve pastor feels respected, begins comparing counselee
favorably against wife (who is more apprised of his shortcomings),
and the rest follows an established pattern: increased contact,
personal sharing, small deceptions, excuses to meet together,
‘innocent” touching, larger deceptions, clandestine
meetings, heavy petting, and then-we saw it coming--outright
adultery. This road to Sheol begins so innocuously that by
the time you realize you are on it, it is extremely difficult
to arrest progress. As Charles Bridges says, “Dread the
first step, and dream not that you can stop yourself at pleasure
in her course.”
In the spirit of “dreading the first step” pastors
should erect firewalls to protect themselves. The first precaution
is guarding the heart, for “from it flow the springs
of life” (Prov. 4:23). We must train ourselves to love
the good and abhor the evil (Rom. 12:9). Applied to our topic,
that means recognizing that, though our culture glorifies
the adulteress, the Bible looks upon here as a monster. In
addition to guarding the heart, there are the usual precautions:
the glass door to the study, the cultivated emotional distance
with women not your wife, and the blue-hair rule. The latter
precaution is the policy that you will never be alone with
any woman (other then a close blood relative), who is not
sporting blue hair. This effectively excludes everyone but
women old enough to be your grandmother.
|
